Love After Life

This is part two of the channeled information I waded through the past week or two, concerning what we refer to as "spirit" and our connection to it. Again, I apologize for the authoritative tone and issue my usual caveat: accept what resonates, dismiss the rest. Our Connection to "Spirit" First, what is "spirit"?  The phrases used in much of the afterlife community reflects a certain history of thought which characterizes our transdimensional interactions in a particular perspective, as if our "normal" experiences in this physical space are somehow less "of spirit" than other kinds of interactions.  For example, we don't usually consider normal conversation to be as much "of spirit" as information coming to us from mediumship, automatic writing, channeling, using EVPs, etc. Note the normal characterization of such "spiritual" interactions as information coming from "non-physical" or "spirit,...

I blame Kim LaCapria for triggering the following, which is a channeled download. As always, I apologize for the authoritarian tone and pease, take what resonates and dismss the rest: I'll be using the term "mind" for the most part, but others can substitute "soul" our "spirit" if those terms better fit their perspective in the following post. Most people think of mind in terms of a distinct three-dimensional construct, probably because the culture deeply associates the mind with the physical brain.  Those of us involved in the afterlife community understand that the mind is not the brain, because it survives death and continues on - same personality, same memories, but not in any essential way equivalent to the physical brain.  Therefore, memories, thoughts, our personalities, ideas emotional connections do not represent physically located and physically caused phenomena. In my old Eastern Indian philosophy, the core essence of an individual was...

In the past couple of days Irene has become pretty interactive beyond her usual scope.  She continues to draw in the coffee I set out for her, change the channels to her favorite shows and appear in my dreams, but now she's also interacting with others.  She started mentally communicating with a friend of mine (who has solid connections to the afterlife/spirit) while we were talking on the phone, sending a mental image I would understand for my friend to relay to me.  She moved a cup in my granddaughter's house to get her attention and the actually appeared as an orb right in front of her face, sending a warm and non-scary tingling throughout her - a great accomplishment since my granddaughter is usually freaked out by such things. Via the same combo of that friend and Irene's urging, I was also led to a documentary about the "Century of the Self" that had some really good information that mattered to me and an interview of Susanne Wilson.  This is unusual beca...

The past two days have brought it to my attention that even when I don't feel like it - actually, especially when I don't feel like it - I need to meditate and pray.  I know this sounds like I'm reversing my views from yesterday (probably not the first time I've done that on this blog), but it's more like a refinement. When I try to work out solutions to my feeling "off", the solution is really always the same thing: regaining the frequency I desire.  I exist as a happy, fulfilled and motivated person in what I call our "home frequency", where Irene and I have our best and easiest interactions.  So, when I wake up and feel ambivalent, especially after a day of being bombarded with the frequencies of other people, the best course of action is to pray and meditate to start bringing myself back to home frequency. Tuning into that frequency is my job; that's what I'm supposed to be doing.  That's actually what individual existence...

I read the past few entries and here's something weird I noticed.  One day I have the best meditations I've had in a long, long time; two days later I'm writing that "for the past several days, I've been having trouble meditating". Okay, so that was literally not true, but yet that is actually what I remembered at the time. Remembering when I was experiencing grief, even then I noticed that when I was experiencing it, at the time it seemed utterly real to me that I had always felt that way and always would.  I would, at the time, be thinking it had been forever since I felt good, that I had been feeling miserable for days. I'd go back to the journal and discover to my shock that the day before I had felt great.  The grief also made me believe that even if I had wrote down that I had felt great, that I must have been lying to myself. This is so odd. I wonder if people who keep journals notice this kind of thing - a disparity between what they are thinking...

I spent 8 hours out of the house yesterday visiting family and friends in town.  After getting home I spent some time going through what I'll call a spirit counseling session where I identify thoughts that are causing me pain and then talking through them with Irene and the rest of my spirit team, telling them what I'm experiencing and repeating over and over whatever it is that causes me pain. I realized that I do have actual guilt that I feel when I don't spend every second of every day "being productive" in either working at my job or working on accessing Irene and the astral world.  I identified that I feel like I'm letting her down when I'm not doing "everything humanly possible" to connect with her.  Of course, that guilt is nonsense - Irene absolutely wanted me to do what I did yesterday.  It was all perfectly set up for me to do and I felt entirely that it was what I should do.  Still, I felt guilty later. Working through the exercise...

I had four meditation sessions yesterday, they all went great! Bought another digital book, “ The Realities of Heaven : Fifty Spirits Describe Your Future Home” by Miles Allen. I’m getting really good information that resonates and I think will help greatly with my attachment problems with Irene’s things and certain memories. I also think I’m getting addicted to meditating! I love it! in my 2nd meditation this morning I felt like I was trying to give birth to my astral or spirit form. Literally, about 30 minutes of me feeling like I was both pushing and pulling in an attempt to free myself from my body – a very energetic feeling, like I was working with energy. It left me almost dizzy it felt so good. So a couple of books I’ve read now say pretty much the same thing; that we can fully and completely relive any memory of our lives here on earth, and we can remember them with others if we wish. This is a full, 3D experience; and we can also explore alternative scenarios, thing...

My meditations are really getting deep and good.  I mean, really good.  There is this indescribable sensation now that I get regularly … it’s like a hum my whole body feels that is peaceful, but centered in my head.  I enjoy it a lot, making it easy to meditate often.  I’m finding it easier to quiet my mind quickly because I know this sensation awaits. There’s also a kind of anticipatory building sensation, as if the hum is building towards something really, really good.  This morning Irene was in my dream, but I forgot what it was about and what she was doing. I know it was only for a second, though. I was reading the Zammit Afterlife forum and in it there was some talk about how much the afterlife resembled life here – houses, gardens, etc., and I remembered another source saying there were jobs, industry , etc. Then I noticed there was an ad in my news stream for dresses and one dress was really great so I got excited and told Irene to look and clicked o...

Today was a relatively normal, average day. Had a good session morning session and two more meditation only sessions – that’s my new pattern.  Prayers and spirit-talk once, then meditation of one sort or another about 3 times a day for 30-40 minutes each time. I have also continued with my circulation yoga and light exercise and have stayed on my new diet for quite some time – lost several lbs the past couple of weeks.  Mostly I just eat stir fry, rice, tofu and White Mountain Foods yogurt, plus I drink juice and coffee. I make sure and get some sun every day (Irene let me know that is important). Had a couple of moments of sadness but nothing too horrible.  It’s so weird that I can get such transformational knowledge one day (or one minute) and the next I can be sad. Or, I can have a phenomenal “touch” experience and be so happy and feel like nothing could possibly ever make me sad again, only to succumb a short while later.  How can I possibly experience sadne...

What a good morning!  My morning session was more about being so appreciative of all the amazing blessings I have in my life.  I read over my prior entries as I’m putting them up on a blog and I realized I’ve lost like 10 lbs in 2 months.  I’m still feeling very good and appreciative, been talking with dead family all morning. That's one of my new things - acknowledging and talking to other dead relatives. Hey, I can use all the help I can get. So it’s 1:00 pm and have been feeling sooooo good all day, chatting away with Irene and the other family spirits while I work and putter around the house and I started feeling sad. I started telling myself that is was fine, it’s okay to go through sad times, they’ll pass and everything will be fine again, Irene will still be here, my family will still be here, my loved ones on the other side will still be here, at some point I’ll once again feel that wholeness and joy. I was walking toward my office with sad tears in my eyes a...

I didn’t get enough sleep, so started the day off not really feeling good and kind of dragged all morning. It’s 3:00 p.m. and I’ve already needed a couple of sessions. Ate a little too much at lunch but it didn’t drag me down or make me tired – it was just tofu, stir-fry veggies, rice & guacamole. After feeling so good yesterday it’s so bizarre to me that I can now feel so vulnerable, doubtful and freaking pitiful. Not a full blown grief session, but kind of in the “normal” zone and dipping down a bit, which is when I do a session. This sensation makes it hard to work. I start feeling like I’m missing something and I feel anxious, fearful and slightly upset.

Had a good session in the morning.  Later after Gerra and Jace left, started feeling like I was sinking (it is a bit of a pattern) so I meditated a while and stopped it.  The rest of the day was normal to manageable. Towards the evening I was thinking about how much of a commitment I was going to make towards meditating and what my actual goal was – to actually reach Irene, or to make my existence here enjoyable and functional while I am here - meaning that while I might not actually be able to leave my body and join her in spirit/astral and interact with her there, I could at least keep our connection high, allowing me to get through the rest of this life as happily as possible. I fell asleep thinking about this.

OMG I just had the most amazing experience!!!  I woke up feeling very good, did my morning prayer/talk with Irene/meditation and  during the meditation all of a sudden I was in this sunny, beautiful field with Irene and she was so beautiful, smiling so big, arms spread wide, I was just overwhelmed with that primordial sense of connection, love and happiness – tears were streaming down, just thinking of it now fills me with wholeness and happiness. It was only a few seconds but it was so clear and powerful.  I continued my meditation for a few minutes and then I felt Irene radiate from inside me with love and connection and happiness and joy so powerful I thought I would explode. I’ve never felt anything like it in my life. It was like an explosion of intimacy, wholeness and joy.  So amazing there are no words!!! 2 nd pray/talk/meditate session today, real good session, nothing spectacular at the time but I felt I got some good work done in raising my vibrationa...

Another normal day, with a couple of small highs and minor lows. Although I know I don't have to meditate as Irene said, I want to start meditating again so I can gain some strength and clarity and raise my vibrational level up.  I see yesterday's message in a new light - Irene doesn't want me beating myself up and over-analyzing my efforts here to reach her and become more attuned to the spiritual.  She wants me to know that we've already got this - we've already succeeded and we will be together.  I will keep this in mind, but I still want to do my part.  I'm enthused about going down this road. Lightening up my diet would also be a good idea.  I want to start doing work on my end to strengthen my mind and spirit and get in closer, better contact with Irene, also so I can be stronger here, more confidant, less controlled by chaotic, destructive emotions, move away from lower emotions like despair and grief  that try to suck you in and bur...

I gave myself quite the pep talk morning. Picture me stomping around the house basically yelling at myself  The family-friendly version interpretation goes like this:  Quit being such a sissy! We are super-strong and tough.  Look at what we manifested and created in this world after we found each other.  We created a big bright utopia of family, home, love and joy.  We won this set of challenges – we said that many times.  We won.  You said often you had everything you ever wanted and then some.  It was time for our new adventure, our new challenges. So what, am I going to cry and whine about it, or put on my big-boy pants and meet the challenge? I mean, how could we be in a better position to go forward in our new adventure? Some of it’s going to be rocky and hard and make us cry like little babies – so what?  We’ve climbed through the tough going before and look what we made in this world out of absolutely NOTHING!!!!! Nothing but fait...

I had a very good day today.  Mike called me around 2 a.m. and we had a good talk and I told him to call me anytime, night or day.  Slept late after that, got up about 6:30, felt good, felt great all day.  Irene was here and we were in a "normalized" mode most of the day.  Able to say more direct things without getting choked up.  Sent a card to Helen (Irene's stepmother) and took one to Texas Oncology along with some snacks (they have free snacks for everyone getting chemo treatment, so I bought a few boxes of individually wrapped snacks), got pretty choked up about all that, but it wasn’t grief.  It was emotional but more empathetic sadness than my own because I knew how much the all loved Irene there.  Picked up 400 lbs of dirt for the pyramid that Ivori has been working on. She’s dedicating herself to doing the whole yard.  Something that occurred to me is that if I believe that Irene is in the next world actively working to help, surely I ...

At just past midnight this morning I woke up had another long mental/envisioned interaction with Irene.  Those interactions are so pleasant.  Later I started feeling sadness, like Irene wasn’t here.  I still didn’t feel grief, just sadness that she wasn’t here physically.  I miss her. Then around 6:15 I suddenly felt completely comforted by her presence again - like she had to have her attention elsewhere and now it was back. I was totally fine from then on. On Wheel of Fortune there was the old gray-haired guy named Karl with a K, like her dad.  I wondered if Karl was with her and around here. The rest of the evening I just felt that same protective barrier keeping my emotions normalized, which I know must be Irene, because I know what’s down there trying to lure me into it. I have something of a self-destructive streak I grapple with - I tend to think about things that cause me pain.  Irene would say she could see my gears turning and a mechanical ...

I had another short dream of Irene, she was in her blue overall shorts with a t-shirt and we were at the small house we lived in for many years and she was fixing something on the wall above the couch. She said something, I don’t remember what.  I didn’t even try to interact with her in the dream, just walked by into the bedroom. A couple of hours later I lay back down to sleep and I had another prolonged envisioned interaction with Irene, before I went to sleep, that was very vivid. In my mind I could see her and feel her for prolonged periods of time, much better than before.  Towards the end when I fell asleep I was remembering things about us that I had forgotten.  The pictures help with this, but I remember she would curl up in my arms while we were sitting on the floor or on a couch and I remember her wearing a white short-overall with a pink shirt and also a pink and brown top. I specifically remember being with her while she was in that outfit. This mo...

Either I am still in shock or Irene is still protecting my heart because I felt fine when I went to sleep last night.  I haven't had any trouble at all going to sleep.  I do leave the TVs on to channels I think Irene might enjoy watching - kind of a silly notion, but it makes me feel more connected to her.  I always talk to her as I fall asleep (well, I talk to her all day long), but so far no real pain or sorrow, just a kind of dreamy sense of love and connection.   Just before I woke up I had a few seconds of dream of Irene that I remember, she was in her shorts-overalls outfit from the big picture I made for the Celebration of Life and she looked like she did in that picture. She was coming in through a doorway saying “It got warm in here” – clear as a bell I heard her voice.  I was so excited I woke up. It jogged my memory that a few weeks before she passed I had a very sweet dream of us when we were younger that I told her about when I woke up.   ...