What Helped Me Most
For the past two weeks, Irene and I have been having a great time. I've been able to release all worry about getting better physical clarity between us. What we have right now is so good I'm not even concerned about it enough to "work" at it, other than by doing what we are currently doing, which is 100% satisfying, enjoyable and fun. Talking with her during the day, making food for us and watching our shows, and doing visualizations with her, now feels like a completely normal and happy continuation of our relationship. I no more doubt that she is participating than I doubted it before she crossed over. My psychology and body have totally acclimated to the new situation.
Reflecting on this success, which to me is rather unbelievable, I've been able to better sort out what was the most helpful other than Irene's constant, loving help and attention, as well as any other people on the other side that may have been part of that help.
Probably the most important thing, the root that enabled everything else, was the fact that I very quickly understood that the only way forward for me was to be "all in" - completely committed to the reality of her existence and to the possibility that we could develop a good transdimensional relationship. It didn't matter to me whether or not it was "real"; it didn't matter to me if I was creating a self-generated delusion, because I simply did not want to live without her in my life.
In light of that commitment, I took everything that I thought might be a sign to be an actual, real sign. There was no reason not to. I employed self-narrative techniques every opportunity I could to reinforce the idea that she was with me, interacting with me, helping me. If I imagined her, that was her giving me support through my imagination. Dreams of her were always really her contacting me. Visualizations were the two of us working together to meet and interact and be with each other. When I visualized touching her or talking with her, it was really happening. I refused to question or doubt any of it.
What good was doubt or skepticism going to do me? What good was "wondering if" it was real going to do me? "Wondering if" it was really a sign? If it was really her? None. Even if none of it was actually real, doubt was only going to get in the way because it was the only direction I had available. I was 100% committed to it, whether it was "real" or not. If it was a self-serving delusion, so what? As long as I was able to feel like she was with me again, my attitude was viva la delusion!
Now, of course I fully believe that it is all real, but my point here is to illustrate the complete nature of my being "all in" and fully committed to this path forward, and how I personally was able to start setting all doubt and skepticism aside. Doubt, skepticism, wondering if, etc., was not going to help me psychologically regardless of what was actually going on.
Some things I was just blessed with when Irene crossed over. She and I had long, long since worked out all our personal issues. We were both totally on board with spending eternity together. We both knew that we were soul mates / twin flames and there was nobody else for either of us. We had already created our idyllic life together and had found complete satisfaction, peace, and joy together, completely and madly in love with each other even after 27 years of being together, much of that time 24/7.
I was also in a very good situation when she crossed over. I worked from home as a freelance contractor; set my own hours, worked very little and had complete support from my family with how I was proceeding with my relationship with Irene. I could devote all the time I wanted to my efforts and had all the privacy I needed to process through my grief. We had decades of experience dealing with challenges and overwriting our own subconsciousness programming; we were professionals at positive thought techniques.
Those situational advantages helped immensely - I can't even imagine how I could have gotten through it if I had small children and/or a regular job to go to, or if I had a hostile family situation, or for that matter financial or relationship issue worries to contend with. I bow with great respect and to those who have these other situational issues and are surviving and moving forward.
However, I don't think I would have come so far in so short a time without the total commitment. In addition to that, there were a couple of techniques that I think were the most effective in regaining the sense of a normal, satisfying relationship with my wife.
First, from the very beginning I was visualizing her in my arms when I lay down to rest or go to sleep for the night, talking to her out loud or in my mind. I visualized and imagined the feel of her body against mine, her face next to mine, talking to me, telling me what I wanted and needed to hear. I've done this every night (and often during the day) for over two years.
Second, I act, think, and talk as if she's with me all the time. Sometimes I talk to her out loud, sometimes mentally. I ask her what she thinks about various things, what she wants to eat. I ask her to remind me about things. I joke with her - we loved to make smartass comments to each other. Every time I feel a rush of love for and from her, I tell he about it and thank her. I make a point for thanking her for every sign and synchronicity. If I go somewhere, I assume she is with me and talk and do things as if she is right there.
Doing those two things constantly and consistently, every single day for two years, gradually and thoroughly re-wrote my psychology into full acceptance of the reality of our transdimensional relationship to the point that it now feels completely normal to me- and by "normal", I mean it feels like what we had before she crossed over. It feels the same psychologically and physically. When I imagine or visualize Irene, it has the same effect on me that looking at her had. When I talk with her in my head, it has the same effect as hearing her voice. When I imagine her sitting next to me, holding my hand - same effect as before she crossed over.
I know how that sounds and I find it just as unbelievable, but the fact is that it is true.
Reflecting on this success, which to me is rather unbelievable, I've been able to better sort out what was the most helpful other than Irene's constant, loving help and attention, as well as any other people on the other side that may have been part of that help.
Probably the most important thing, the root that enabled everything else, was the fact that I very quickly understood that the only way forward for me was to be "all in" - completely committed to the reality of her existence and to the possibility that we could develop a good transdimensional relationship. It didn't matter to me whether or not it was "real"; it didn't matter to me if I was creating a self-generated delusion, because I simply did not want to live without her in my life.
In light of that commitment, I took everything that I thought might be a sign to be an actual, real sign. There was no reason not to. I employed self-narrative techniques every opportunity I could to reinforce the idea that she was with me, interacting with me, helping me. If I imagined her, that was her giving me support through my imagination. Dreams of her were always really her contacting me. Visualizations were the two of us working together to meet and interact and be with each other. When I visualized touching her or talking with her, it was really happening. I refused to question or doubt any of it.
What good was doubt or skepticism going to do me? What good was "wondering if" it was real going to do me? "Wondering if" it was really a sign? If it was really her? None. Even if none of it was actually real, doubt was only going to get in the way because it was the only direction I had available. I was 100% committed to it, whether it was "real" or not. If it was a self-serving delusion, so what? As long as I was able to feel like she was with me again, my attitude was viva la delusion!
Now, of course I fully believe that it is all real, but my point here is to illustrate the complete nature of my being "all in" and fully committed to this path forward, and how I personally was able to start setting all doubt and skepticism aside. Doubt, skepticism, wondering if, etc., was not going to help me psychologically regardless of what was actually going on.
Some things I was just blessed with when Irene crossed over. She and I had long, long since worked out all our personal issues. We were both totally on board with spending eternity together. We both knew that we were soul mates / twin flames and there was nobody else for either of us. We had already created our idyllic life together and had found complete satisfaction, peace, and joy together, completely and madly in love with each other even after 27 years of being together, much of that time 24/7.
I was also in a very good situation when she crossed over. I worked from home as a freelance contractor; set my own hours, worked very little and had complete support from my family with how I was proceeding with my relationship with Irene. I could devote all the time I wanted to my efforts and had all the privacy I needed to process through my grief. We had decades of experience dealing with challenges and overwriting our own subconsciousness programming; we were professionals at positive thought techniques.
Those situational advantages helped immensely - I can't even imagine how I could have gotten through it if I had small children and/or a regular job to go to, or if I had a hostile family situation, or for that matter financial or relationship issue worries to contend with. I bow with great respect and to those who have these other situational issues and are surviving and moving forward.
However, I don't think I would have come so far in so short a time without the total commitment. In addition to that, there were a couple of techniques that I think were the most effective in regaining the sense of a normal, satisfying relationship with my wife.
First, from the very beginning I was visualizing her in my arms when I lay down to rest or go to sleep for the night, talking to her out loud or in my mind. I visualized and imagined the feel of her body against mine, her face next to mine, talking to me, telling me what I wanted and needed to hear. I've done this every night (and often during the day) for over two years.
Second, I act, think, and talk as if she's with me all the time. Sometimes I talk to her out loud, sometimes mentally. I ask her what she thinks about various things, what she wants to eat. I ask her to remind me about things. I joke with her - we loved to make smartass comments to each other. Every time I feel a rush of love for and from her, I tell he about it and thank her. I make a point for thanking her for every sign and synchronicity. If I go somewhere, I assume she is with me and talk and do things as if she is right there.
Doing those two things constantly and consistently, every single day for two years, gradually and thoroughly re-wrote my psychology into full acceptance of the reality of our transdimensional relationship to the point that it now feels completely normal to me- and by "normal", I mean it feels like what we had before she crossed over. It feels the same psychologically and physically. When I imagine or visualize Irene, it has the same effect on me that looking at her had. When I talk with her in my head, it has the same effect as hearing her voice. When I imagine her sitting next to me, holding my hand - same effect as before she crossed over.
I know how that sounds and I find it just as unbelievable, but the fact is that it is true.
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