Love After Life

I’ve noticed a shift in the focus of my meditations and conversations with Irene, and I now realize they’ve been advancing a certain way.  In the beginning it was more of a desperate need on my part - needing to “find her”, get to her, experience her).  As that need was met, it became more about creating an emotional atmosphere of confidence, wholeness and trust – an emotional stability and satisfaction – by being with her experientially.  From that solid base, we are now about co-creating our experience to be the best, most wonderful possible.  Strange how that completely reflects our physical lives here, only compressed into a much shorter period of time.  As she and I have explored more of what “creating our experiential reality” in an unlimited manner means, it’s become very interesting to explore and get past limitations of thought/imagination that exist due to 59 years of physical experience here. For example,  for a long time I could not imagine th...

Another really good morning so far.  Last night around 8pm I had a really, really good meditation - I felt like I could just stay in that zone for hours.  I felt like my astral body was trying to leave several times. Envisioning Irene is getting easier.  This morning I prayed while envisioning her praying with me, sitting beside me, and it was great!!  Then I had another really good meditation where I felt like I was trying to leave my body several times. The image of us being on a tropical beach or in and around the pool at our home on the other side has been popping up continuously in my mind.  Collecting images for my various afterlife Pinterest boards is giving me all sorts of deeply resonating imagery.  I think that finding things that resonate with your afterlife is a very good method of supporting intention. It's like I am building a stronger basis for the frequency at which Irene and I operate in the afterlife, drawing us closer together and keepi...

Today the meditation was back to being really deep and giving me a "high", like a buzz. I also felt like my energetic inner body was trying several times to leave my physical body.  What a great sensation - it left me feeling very good. The meditations I use primarily now start with some controlled breathing and a mental focus on the patterns in the darkness in front of my eyes.  Something that has helped me today is just setting aside any concerns about my legs or feet going to sleep - if they do, I'll just have to take a few minutes to get them working right.  Apparently just that thought has dramatically changed my comfort level.  Also, I don't worry about sitting straight up - a relaxed position leaning slightly back is fine. This has also apparently helped a lot. After focusing on my sight, I have begun envisioning and imagining Irene's hand.  I can actually remember the sensation of what it is like to touch her hand - what her skin feels like.  Fo...

One of the things about posting to this blog live is that I'm going to be posting a lot of stuff that occurs to me as it happens, instead of waiting until a later even brings it into focus and then writing about what happened before. I was just in the kitchen cooking some food and having a conversation with my spirit team about how hard it is, in a physical life, to really incorporate the spiritual and make it an integral part of our lives when most of our experience of the spiritual cannot even remotely compete with the ongoing, relentless onslaught of physical experience and concerns.  It's incredibly easy to get distracted by the physical and to get so caught up in it that you might go years without giving the spiritual anything more than a cursory thought. The effort towards integrating spirit into our lives is difficult. I have it better than most simply because I live alone and work from home so I can set my own schedule and talk freely to the other side all day long....

It's been a really busy day. I had to drive back into town to get some errands done.  That and the unrelenting heat outside have frayed my attention and willpower today.  I did my morning sessions and an afternoon astral projection session lying down where I took an antihistamine and it was good. I keep feeling like there's an electric body I'm trying to "give birth" to, like I'm trying to get out of my physical body. It's a pleasant but weird feeling. I posted a new message in the Afterlife group where I referenced something I wrote on another blog last year - I'm going to quote here the relevant part: Each of us experience ourselves as a seat of consciousness with direct, top-down, intentional, prescriptive control (to varying degrees) over the behaviors of many elements of our bodies and thinking processes. We don’t know how to make various cellular or chemical reactions occur that are necessary for motion and thought. Somehow, without any t...

I had to drive into town again this morning. I really dislike having my routine interrupted but we (Irene and I) had a fun trip in and back. Later I was reading in the Facebook Grief Support Group about “moving on” and “finding a friend with benefits” or another life-partner. I thought it would be funny to reply something like “Well, Irene would haunt and harass the heck out of anyone that tried to get their hands on her man, so that wouldn’t be a good idea for me.” I didn’t, but it reminded me that Irene always said she was possessive , not jealous – you can only be jealous of what you don’t already have, and she already had me. I joked with her that you’re not supposed to be possessive in heaven and immediately thought about her saying “You just try it.” We both had a big laugh. That started this whole conversation I was going on with Irene about how ridiculous that would be – how miserable anything like another relationship would make me, how I’m extremely happy to be alone ...

Had a good session in the morning.  Later after Gerra and Jace left, started feeling like I was sinking (it is a bit of a pattern) so I meditated a while and stopped it.  The rest of the day was normal to manageable. Towards the evening I was thinking about how much of a commitment I was going to make towards meditating and what my actual goal was – to actually reach Irene, or to make my existence here enjoyable and functional while I am here - meaning that while I might not actually be able to leave my body and join her in spirit/astral and interact with her there, I could at least keep our connection high, allowing me to get through the rest of this life as happily as possible. I fell asleep thinking about this.