Amusement Park by the Ocean

I had a good day yesterday even though I felt somewhat under the weather all day and had people over all day long.  I drank coffee out on the swing and talked to Irene instead of smoking and that was great. She and I are still developing and refining our ability to communicate and I'm trying to "tune in" to her frequency even while not meditating.  This is probably going to be a long-term effort.  Yesterday during the football game tuned in to her and sent her a mental image to let her know I was thinking of her and that I love her.

Today I've been feeling even more under the weather and even had to take a nap.  I hope I don't get too sick from whatever this is. Yesterday and today I've been looking to make our interactions and my self-talk and talk with Irene more light-hearted and fun.  I asked her to take me to do some fun things in the astral when I meditated and I found us going to some sort of permanent carnival/fair with rides by the ocean, with a giant Ferris wheel, a roller coaster, some snack stands, arts and crafts booths, stores and restaurants.  The Ferris wheel and roller coaster was translucent with lots of lights, and Irene told me I could see it as day or night by adjusting my vision.  Irene was wearing a long bluish, pinkish, white and purple sarong, with white flowers in her long, rich dark hair.  She was very beautiful and happy. I can't even think about her in that imagining without getting emotional, and I'm not even sure what the emotion is - perhaps longingly happy?  Something like that.

It worked just like adjusting the brightness, contrast and color levels in Photoshop, except different things were visible in the night sky than the day.  We could experience any moment, any scene in the astral as any time of day - twilight, night, day. It would have no effect on the people around us and how they saw and experienced that place at that time.  Thinking about it later I realized it could make sense if time and space there was not something like it is here.

Something else that came to me is that I need to stop trying to force my perspective while imagining and envisioning into the first person, and stop trying to force the sequencing into one long, steady shot. I need to let the images come to me freely and let their "realism" develop naturally.  My frustration or attempt at forcing only disrupts things and feels like I'm messing something up rather than making something better.  A lot of the time the images I see are in third person, but I found that if I let them continue they have the same good effect on me as first person view.

I really was only trying to develop my first person view because I thought it would help me to astral project, but I'm not worrying about astral projecting right now - and by that I mean I still hope to astral project, but I'm not worrying about it.  It will happen when it happens.  I read in one of the groups that people on the other side can help you astral project and I think I'm probably not helping by either worrying or trying to force a first-person view on everything, so I'm taking a more natural approach and letting my team on the other side handle it.  I've read where people just have spontaneous astral projections with zero effort or meditation, so while I want it to happen and I plan on still using the "falling asleep" method every night (staying conscious as long as possible intending to astral project and imagining you are astral projecting), I'm not worried about it beyond that.

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