Love After Life

I had a new experience with Irene the other day.  I'm not going to describe it since it was very personal and intimate, but what I will say is this: I got a taste of how making love feels in what we call "the afterlife." It was completely unexpected and overwhelming.  There is far more emotional sensation involved, of a much more vibrant quality, than anything we experienced in this world.  I'll leave it at that. What has had my attention lately is the coffee I set out for Irene every day.  Something to understand is that I make the coffee the exact same way every day, and the coffee sits in the same room in the exact same physical environment every day.  Same ceiling fan, same air conditioner, etc.  It sits on the same coaster at the same angle at the same location on the same coffee table.  Now, if the milk I use in her coffee is old, that affects the drawings that appear in it in a predictable way - they get smudgier.  In the beginning - th...

The past couple of days I've adhered to a new daily pattern that is the result of thinking about what I'd actually do once in the afterlife with Irene, and then adhering to a pattern of behavior now that includes those things or the closest approximation.  I realized that more and more of my daily, habitual patterns had become more about "waiting" to cross over, and that didn't seem to me to be a very positive subconscious pattern to fall into.  It doesn't involve anything drastic, just cutting back on certain enjoyments and activities I was engaging in beyond their "fulfillment" factor and adding in or increasing other activities that matched the idea of my afterlife desires.  So far, I feel even better and enjoy the new routine. Whether or not anything more comes of it will be something to keep an eye on, because I did this to deliberately more closely match my Earth pattern and vibration to what I want my afterlife to be like. So, I spend more t...

As most readers of this blog know, virtually every day since she crossed over Irene has drawn a version of this in the coffee I set out for her every morning: Sometimes it's more elaborate, very rarely it's something else.  This happens regardless of if the AC is on (a few feet from the coffee table), the ceiling fan, or if there is a stand fan blowing in the room.  The flower in her cup has played a significant role in other signs she has given me over the past 10 months.  Once when I told her that she could stop if she wanted, thinking it must be a natural phenomena and that it would continue, nothing appeared in her cup the next two days until I asked her to please continue.  She was proving to me that it was her. A few days ago I saw a hummingbird outside - one of her favorite birds.  Also, lately I've been deeply exploring our visualizations, which has become our main venue for interaction, for writing our afterlife adventure book. Early yesterday I...

Every single day after my wife passed on April 11 of this year, I've made her coffee the way she likes it as usual and set it on the coffee table where I used to, and I sit where I have always, next to her - where I believe she sits, with me. At the end of the day, when I go to take her cup, there has been a white drawing in her coffee - the same drawing every single day up until about 5 days ago.  I posted a picture and made a note of in on my Facebook account on June 11, I think About 5 days ago I told her that if she didn't want me to make her coffee anymore, stop drawing in it. I think somewhere in my mind I had subconsciously attributed the drawing to natural causes, because it was the same drawing every day. It looked like a blooming flower to me. I didn't for a moment think it would stop. At the end of the day, there was no drawing. Nothing. Just a cup of coffee. My jaw dropped and I instantly realized that I didn't for a second seriously think the phenomena...

I joined a new Facebook group either yesterday or the day before on the afterlife and found out it was basically run by Victor Zammit (see link in the sidebar)!  I’ve been reading and referring to his website for years in online debates at various sites, and referring friends and family to it. I put a post in and got a LOT of positive and helpful response.  I had a great session this morning and came in really close contact with Irene which triggered a very, very happy emotional reaction.  I think I’m going to be able to use some of the information and suggestions from the “ AFTERLIFE RESEARCH AND EDUCATION DISCUSSION ” Facebook group to help us on our journey. I do need to do a better job of emptying my mind when I meditate, but I feel great so far today.  Had one really weird attack of sadness for about two minutes, then it was completely gone. Made some food while listening to “I Can’t Wait” and talking with Irene.  I watched a TV show while eating ...

I have crashed into a world of hurt today.  My mind latches onto every conceivable thought and feeling to generate more pain and suffering, trying to turn everything into crap – all thoughts of the past, present and future.  My mind is seeking out every conceivable avenue of accumulating pain, despair and regret, and nothing I do seems to give it any pause.  The grief is causing so much confusion in my head, making me doubt everything, wondering if Irene and I are even on the same page, wondering if I'm hurting her with my grief, wondering how she can stand me right now, wondering if she had so many better things to do than to be constantly running to my aid. I realize I can't remember the date we met.  Was it January 10th?  20th?  I can't believe I can't remember.  I plunge even further into despair. At one point I started the Long Island Medium recording (the magic flower commercial) to try and see the flower commercial again. It wouldn’t ...

I woke up feeling pretty good.  Working on accepting the “normal” feeling, and being more accepting of my mental projections of Irene, even though it’s not of the same quality as my other experiences which seem to be much more real.  I’m trying to understand some of these emotions I experience as love for Irene and not pain, and that “missing her” sensation is an expression of my love for her and not something I want to avoid, but embrace and experience in a positive way.  I have to pray daily, sometimes several times a day, for strength, grace, comfort and understanding.  I had a really good session before Wheel of Fortune (which I always watch with her) where I was able to create a framework of understanding about our relationship. There is the daily, “normal” interaction where I don’t usually have as pronounced a sense of connection, but I still talk to her as if she’s with me and envision her at times with me.  This needs to be an entirely “no pressure”...

I woke up feeling great, spent time praying and “prayer manifesting”, spent quiet time listening and feeling and looking for Irene to manifest, felt some sensations and told her about them – whether or not they are her, I would think she needs feedback from me and also the feedback is part of the manifestation aspect of the project. I can't just assume  she knows everything I'm experiencing. I took dogs in to  have them groomed – like the trip to the animal clinic earlier, it was a wasted trip. Can’t get groomed without shot records.  That’s two trips to town that were largely unnecessary past couple of days. I don't like going to to town unless I have to - driving takes too much out of me, leaving me weak and open to negative/sad influences. Spent more time praying. Felt some sorrow – it felt just like I was about to sneeze, so I sat down started praying and let the tears roll and sobs come out. Felt good afterward, still feel like there’s some down in ther...

I feel so good today, that doubt and fear driven away at least for the time being.  I totally know Irene is here.  That commercial is still blowing my mind. Something I learned today is we are always connected mentally and spiritually, so I can talk to her even while she’s not in this particular physical area – when she’s out doing other things in the spirit world or with other people in this world. I don’t have to always imagine her here and it’s okay to focus on locations here while talking, like her papasan chair, even though she may not be right there – she can still hear me, and such locations give me something to focus on when I speak – it helps to comfort me.  She understands the situation completely. Gave Marley (one of our Pekingese, along with Pico) a bath today and an examination while I brushed him and a lot of my concerns about possible growths, tangles and matted hair appear to be unfounded.  We’re going to the groomer tomorrow morning and I didn’t...

This is starting off to be a very bad day, prayed to have the evil or darkness that was making me doubt and fear thrown out, driven  out, prayed for God to work with Irene and I to succeed in our adventure of continuing our relationship after her passing. There is this infection of doubt and fear that it seems I can't drive out and despair is setting in again – I can't find any relief.  Robert had said someone woke him up yesterday morning. He heard a voice say his name and when he got up Shanna was still asleep.  The physical/emotional/psychological aspect of this is just like being sick.  I can feel a 15 second sobbing spurt coming on just like I can feel nausea just before I throw up.. It even feels much like I’m throwing up.  I can feel pain and doubt in me like disease. To find relief I started watching Long Island Medium, one of Irene’s favorite shows, to get my mind on a more positive track.  When I started it this time it it was o...