Trust The Process

To continue from yesterday, I don't know what it was but it felt like I was coming down with something.  I continued to feel worse until Wheel of Fortune came on and, in my mind, Irene was there with me as usual and I completely calmed down and felt much better mentally and emotionally, even though I still felt a little under the weather.  I had to keep reminding myself to stop thinking, to stop trying to figure it out, that when I felt like that it's time to just get through and let time pass until I feel better.  I told myself I'd feel fine in the morning - and I do!

It's so baffling how, when I feel that way, all these strange and unsettling thoughts and mental/emotional sensations manifest.  Also, my ability to even think about those thoughts and feelings rationally or objectively becomes impaired and I end up fueling them somehow.  This morning I'm thinking that "trying to figure something out", which used to be my "go-to" process, is actually just focusing on the problem and feeding it.  I think that those negative vibrations actually work in a way to try to get you to focus on them that way - as if you could "figure them out" and get rid of them, but in so doing are really only feeding them.

With my LIFT process, there is no focusing on negative issues, but rather only focusing on what I want to experience (love intention) and trusting my intuition to tell me when I need to do one thing or another - and to make it clear t me what it is I should do.   In other words, just stop thinking about problems or negative emotions and instead focus on what I love, and in the meantime just distract myself from those emotions if I can - watch some TV, play games, go outside and walk the dogs, do some work, exercise, etc.  "Trust the Process" is my new motto.

Something that came up in one of the afterlife groups showed the diversity of what people want out of the afterlife.  Some wanted an afterlife far removed from what Earth is like. One simply wanted an end to their consciousness.  Something that came up was afterlife sex, and several said that they felt they were beyond all the drama of relationships and if they wanted to indulge in those kinds of pleasures they would just incarnate on Earth again. Some wanted to exist as spheres of light and would pursue enlightenment.  One said she'd like to plan for her next incarnation on Earth.

Honestly, except for the entropy, sickness,  aging and constant daily maintenance, I feel like Irene and I were already experiencing our heaven right here on Earth and we knew it - we talked about how our reality was better than any fantasy we might have dreamt up.  That might be hard to believe by someone on the outside, given that she was fighting cancer for the last two and a half years of her life, but it's true. Even sick from the cancer she was so happy and satisfied with her life, as was I.  Even under those conditions we lived a fairly idyllic life, perfectly satisfied, happy, whole and fulfilled. We often told each other that we felt like we had already won in this life, and the only way to make it better was to make it eternal. We found joy in the simplest of daily routines and in the most seemingly trivial of actions and communication.

We didn't look to heaven to solve any issues in us or to magically make us fulfilled, happy or to feel love; we had already accomplished that here.  We were totally in sync, or "perfect accord", complete, and deeply in love as she left this world, and had been for years.  We didn't see Heaven as a place where we could "finally" be happy and at peace, but rather where we could simply continue our happy contentment for eternity.