Love After Life

For the past month or so I've been experimenting with the concept that psychology (including the conscious, subconscious and unconscious) = experience of reality (perceptual, sensory, cognitive, emotional, reacitive). IOW, I've let go of the ideas that there are spiritual levels, different dimensions (that coming from the guy that basically coined the term "transdimensional relationship"), different energies & frequencies, planes of existence, etc., and have proceeded from t he perspective that all of existence is right here, right now, and that it is my own psychology that determines what I perceive and experience of that infinite potential. I'm not saying those other models are not valuable and effective, so please keep that in mind. I've also started writing about how this has affected my interaction with Irene, but frankly I'm just not sure it can be effectively translated due to the limitations of language and the conceptual baggage certain term...

A Powerful Intention This morning the first thing I did was an "intention-setting" meditation, which is my usual routine now.  When I do this I am searching for imagery and scenes in my mind that I wish to exist in and which generate an emotional connection and joyful reaction in me.  After sitting down cross-legged on my couch, I did my usual pre-meditation prayer of safety and guidance, immediately getting that familiar buzz which indicates that I'm tuned into "our" frequency. Very quickly after that, a scene popped into my mind of the two of us (Irene and I) sitting on white, wooden  lounge chairs on a deck overlooking the beach and ocean.  Our feet were propped up on the white deck rail and we both had a cup of coffee and we were smoking. We were dressed just like we were at our wedding - we didn't wear formal clothes at our wedding, which was held in our home at the time.  We were laughing about something and had great big smiles on our faces, lookin...

Today the atmospherics completely changed, including a thirty-degree drop in the temperature.  Everything felt different. After prayer and an EVP recording this morning, I sat for meditation and Irene asked me where I'd like to have interaction with her, now that I know they are are completely real locations.  We settled on the big padded bench swing that sits overlooking the ocean and the horizon at the top of the path that leads down to the beach from our astral home. As we settled into our "spoon" position looking out at the view, she turned around facing me and said, "You do understand this is real, right?  You are actually here right now, even though it doesn't feel like that to you yet."  "I'm actually here, right now, with you." I repeated in agreement.  I could see her in my mind very clearly, feel her. It was still an envisioning, but suddenly this enormous swell of emotion just climbed from my heart up to my head bringing a...

What a day I had yesterday.  So sorry I wasn't able to post, but I by the time I got home I was really too drained to do anything with my brain other than eat, walk the dogs and go to sleep early. We had a meeting with an attorney over some of the issues that came crashing into our lives earlier this week and that took longer than expected.  I can't get into any of it here, but let's just say it's something that would ordinarily be very, very stressful, even though it didn't directly involve me.  I never really felt stressed, although my mind was more on those issues than anything else, and I kept having to refocus on our happy frequency again and again.  It did keep me feeling centered and really rather removed from the situation. Also, driving tends to wear me out and I ran other errands in town, so I'm sure that contributed to the draining fatigue I felt yesterday evening. Other than that, though, I felt great mentally and emotionally - I didn't crash...

There are mornings, like today, I wake up and I don't feel good or bad, I just feel completely ambivalent. I really think it has a lot to do with the physical atmosphere. It's heavy again here with a lot of humidity after a lot of rain last night. A couple of hours after I got up, though, I felt Irene just sort of vibe into me. It felt so good and immediately changed my frequency back into our zone. It didn't have hardly any of the associated sadness that contact with her used to bring, although it did carry with it a unique emotional content I've talked about before; it's really good, it's just not like anything else, so it's hard to put any label on. Meditation was excellent although the universe kept interrupting me for whatever reason.  I still have the family issues that cropped came barreling through like a freight train, but we're working on those and can at least see a way forward.  I'm really not very good at adapting to certain situatio...

Last night and today were very challenging.  There were some pretty serious events that occurred with a couple of our children that were very negative and - for all of us - very disheartening.  It's times like this that you realize just how crappy the world and the people in it can be, and how good people often end up in bad or troubling situations through no real fault of their own.  It's so easy to lose faith and trust when certain things go on. I did find out, however, that I have much more emotional investment in our children than I thought - which is a good thing.  It's one of the things I had hoped I could cultivate, something I think I came here to learn or let myself experience.  I had to work to keep tuned in to Irene's and my home frequency at times; at other times I felt Irene blend into me and just relieve my unsettled feeling.  Some very odd things happened that made it feel as if it was all part of the plan.  I woke up on my own at...

 I feel like I've made such a big psychological and emotional transition from just a few short months ago.  My new habit of taking multiple naps during the day is working out tremendously and has virtually eliminated my sense of mental fatigue and confusion.  Meditation lately has gotten to be so deep and so enjoyable it's difficult to drag myself out of it. My connection to Irene is so good that there is very, very little sadness that crops up, and when it does I feel like I can focus on feeling happy and appreciative and change my frequency fairly easily.  When I talk to her out loud or in my mind it feels very good and very natural. This concept of "tuning into frequencies" is turning out to be very useful. It provides a really good tool for organizing experience and understanding what to do going forward.  I completely understand now my wife's habit of accumulating things that made her happy - like colorful flip-flops and light-up shoes, or little seahorse...

Still a bit under the weather today but have felt well enough to keep on track.  While I was sitting outside I was having a bit of a conversation in my head with Irene as if she was sitting beside me when I decided to send her a more focused mental message and immediately, in my mind, she said "Hey, I'm right beside you - you're talking right to me."  I turned my head and these two big black and  yellow butterflies flew into my field of vision right then, the same kind that I've talked about before.  I laughed and said "okay, okay" and in my mind she said "I'm always right here, with you."   I saw a small, empty chip bag being slowly blown down the street in front of my house.  I said to Irene:  "I know you think I should go pick that bag up, but ... nah. Don't wanna."   I went inside. Later in one of the afterlife groups there was a conversation about the same thing and they agreed that our loved ones are always with us -...

Today has been a really great day so far. I woke up feeling fantastic - whole, complete, totally connected to Irene, happy, enthusiastic with our progress and confident we will soon be able to actually visit with each other.  I did my morning meditation on the loveseat instead of the couch and it was immediately more comfortable than my couch position, my legs and feet did not go to sleep, and it was a very deep meditation.  I was able to visualize a very good intention of visiting Irene with good emotional quality.  It felt like I would, at some point, simply find myself with her in perfect clarity. This confidence in us and our ability to make our reality come into being feel so good and is so different from what I was feeling before I got the answer to my "why am I here" question.  I'm so very appreciative of my situation where I can pursue this goal to my heart's content without significant interference.  It's really amazing that when you think that it's...