Love After Life

This is all, of course, from my personal experience and perception, so please don't take it as "spirit-'splaining" - feel free to dismiss if it doesn't resonate with you. Just now, I was out on the porch talking with Irene, and whenever I focused my loving attention on her I got an immediate physiological reaction.  My heart races, tears come to my eyes, and I feel things that are difficult to sort out. This is not something new, but it has become easier and easier to the point that it is basically something I can just do at any time. The feeling itself is great, but it's like my brain is learning to process something it doesn't recognize and cannot coordinate with the physical situation.  We talked a bit about it and I focused attention on her a couple of more times to try and figure out what it was, exactly, that I was feeling. Like I said, this isn't a new sensation. I've reported on it about as long as I've been writing this blog. The...

A couple of days ago I was sitting out on the front porch talking with Irene.  The conversation turned to things we remembered from our time together here, the things that were very easy to remember, really "burning bright" in our minds.  We went through probably about a dozen different memories and talked about how much they meant to us. Afterward I realized I had basically dug into memories and didn't have a single moment where I felt sad.  Usually going though memories is like walking through a minefield, but that's gradually changed over time and now I can pretty much freely think about he past without it causing me sorrow.  Going through those memories actually made me very happy and we had a great time and quite a few laughs. Night before last my daughter Gerra called and we talked most of the night. After I went back to sleep early in the morning I had my first astral projection, exactly the way I intend/affirm every day -by  just finding myself astra...

There's an emotion I feel often which I refer to as the sensation of coming into frequency contact with Irene.  It began many months ago, if you go back and read the blog, as a panic-attack like feeling in my upper chest and throat, but it wasn't entirely a bad feeling - I immediately thought it felt like Irene was close and it was affecting me negatively because of my grief and sorrow.  As time has progressed, that sensation has slowly changed, no longer triggering my grief or intense feelings of loss or self-pity.  I've thought about how to try to describe it, and I'm going to give it a shot here. Most of the sensation is a powerful sense of appreciation borne of loss of that which I value most. It is not just "appreciation", which is a great feeling in itself, but it is a form of appreciation that is very deep and meaningful, an appreciation you can only have after losing that which you love the most.  It is only then that you can know how much that which...

Last night I asked for help in astral projection and to have dreams I could remember and would be helpful in that attempt and the continued strengthening of the connection between me and Irene, and also to open me up to more help from my spirit team. Waking up about 3:30 a.m. or so, I stayed up a little bit deciding what to do. I had read that it's best to attempt astral projection after you wake up but before your body and mind has time to go into full wakefulness mode. So I lay back down to try to get into the "drifting off" state they described but not to actually fall asleep.  That was relatively easy since I had two cups of decaf before going to bed and I kept having to use the bathroom! Irene was in one of the dreams; someone was helping me look through a book of images and there was one with Irene, and as I looked it turned into a video of her walking through what looked like a mall with my brother, his wife and my sister. I was looking at the scene from high a...

Yesterday I watched a few minutes of a movie that reminded me of that documentary about kids in Indonesia who dig snakes out of holes all day to sell for enough money for food for their families.  Talk about putting me in an attitude of gratitude and appreciation!  When I think I could have been dealing with the passing of my wife and having to do something like that all day long just to survive and no air conditioning or central heat and not have enough food and not have instant access to books and videos, etc. ... it kind of makes any self-pity or sorrow on my part seem laughably self-indulgent. So, boy, yeah, I had a big prayer of gratitude this morning. Also yesterday I was thinking I needed to find something else to read to keep using that method of tuning in to the frequency state I want. This morning in the Afterlife group, I found that Cyrus had posted a list of books to read on the subject, and others had contributed quite a few books. Someone suggested on...

Something I have found that I have to keep in mind is not to assign too much significance to simply feeling bad or sad.  Today hasn't been a great day.  I'm working on getting the title transfer for the truck and felt sad for a while a few times.  The air is thick and hot and I was up late watching the game with one of my sons.  Meditation has been great and I've stuck to my routine, but I just don't feel as good as I have been. That's normal life, however.  Sometimes you don't feel good.  We all have things we can feel sad about from time to time.  Not everything needs to be put into context of what "the problem" may be with my efforts to increase communication with Irene.  There's no reason to assume there is any problem. Some sadness about our situation is completely normal and reflective of my longing to be with her in the Astral; again, it's what one would expect even under normal circumstances of being apart from your loved one. Somet...

Update 7-22-2018 On Friday, July 20, 2018, we achieved our goal of having a completely real astral visitation with each other. It was amazing!  I never lost consciousness transitioning from this dimension to the one where we are together.  The conversation we were having telepathically in our bed here flowed seamlessly into my actually being in a room, sitting next to her, having that same conversation with her.  Although I was conscious when my experiential scene flipped from lying in bed to sitting on a couch in a room next her, it took me several minutes to become fully cognizant of the fact that I was actually feeling the couch, actually seeing her and everything else (including my own hands when I gestured while talking).  I could hear her voice and mine. You can read more about it starting here. (Updated 12-18-2017 - WJM - New Sequential Post Archive Started & Book Now Available on Amazon) I have posted my book,  "Love After Life," so it can...

Felt like I had a cold or allergies all day today, so I haven't done much more than prayer and meditation and sit on the swing in they yard and talk with Irene. It's nice just having normal conversations with her about normal stuff.  Even though I'm feeling kind of sick, I have no feeling of panic or loss or sorrow.  We finally got some cooler air and breezes with a front that came in and I they feel heavenly. There are some things I read in the forum, and some parts of the conversation I was having with Irene that made me think differently about the whole Heaven concept.   Basically, people here relate to the afterlife, for the most part, as some kind of spiritual or wisdom thing.  Most people think there are bad, or "not a good" places you go if you're not "spiritually evolved" or have a "high vibration".  The usual culprits for low spirituality are lust, addiction, cruelty, greed, etc.  People see other people as not very spiritually ...

Yesterday went really well. Spent about six hours with my siblings and their spouses and had a great time with no crash afterward.  Sounds like progress! Something I realized more last evening was that now I actually cherish the sensation of missing Irene at times - it no longer comes from a place in me as if I've lost her, but rather it comes from a place where it is sweet and anticipatory, like when she would be somewhere else for a while during her life.  My sister asked me at one point if I felt her presence.  Since I know she reads this blog, I want to answer her here: you can always tell when I don't feel her presence - that's when I'm kneeling by the side of the bed sobbing and praying.  I feel her presence constantly in my heart and mind or else I couldn't continue to function. When I miss her I am missing the ability to hear her, touch her, and see her and fully communicate and interact, but now I have a good foundation of knowing, throughout my whole ...

8:00 a.m. So, after writing up this whole post about how I'm going to refine my technique and set up a schedule, I just did a visualization meditation where I visualize interacting with Irene and she let me know I'm overthinking it again.  I'm always trying to fix things that aren't really broken, always trying to improve things that are really working just fine.  Just let go of expectations and do what feels right. 3:00 pm. I think the summer heat and humidity is really doing a number on me - it does every year.  I am really messed up today. I've been battling fear and doubt and confusion all day long.  I don't understand these emotions or where they come from.  I'm thinking all sorts of things that have never even entered my mind before - negative and hurtful things.  I've already meditated sitting and lying down several times just to try and get a handle on it.  It's weird because it's nowhere near as hot today outside - I should be better...

I didn’t get enough sleep, so started the day off not really feeling good and kind of dragged all morning. It’s 3:00 p.m. and I’ve already needed a couple of sessions. Ate a little too much at lunch but it didn’t drag me down or make me tired – it was just tofu, stir-fry veggies, rice & guacamole. After feeling so good yesterday it’s so bizarre to me that I can now feel so vulnerable, doubtful and freaking pitiful. Not a full blown grief session, but kind of in the “normal” zone and dipping down a bit, which is when I do a session. This sensation makes it hard to work. I start feeling like I’m missing something and I feel anxious, fearful and slightly upset.

I woke up in a weird state. I felt normal and felt bad about feeling normal. It took a while to get in sync with Irene.  Full morning session.  Need to remember that doing the sessions is just me doing what I can, that it’s all in god’s hands and that I can go to the spirit realm and fully interact with Irene any time God decides regardless of any “progress” I am making and regardless of my efforts.  I just have to do what I can and be as good a person as I can to hold up my end of this. I probably ate too much for lunch - eating too much makes me feel weird, had a minor swing into sadness (not despair or grief).  I dug through some of Irene's stuff outside before committing it to the trash, got me to thinking about our lives here and how we interacted and communicated, about what it is that I get to missing and feeling so bad about at times.   Then I had a kind of big “throw up” crash.  It’s just so weird – I can be doing so well, then boom!...