Love After Life

Please excuse the authoritarian style of writing.  When this stuff comes to me via channeling, I can either spend days trying to rephrase everything in editing or just offer the caveat: accept what resonates, ignore the rest. For most people, when they think of "imagination" they think of creating thoughts or imagery that is confined to being "in their head" - completely personal and unconnected to anything external, private thoughts that only exist in the confines of their physical brain. Thus, we have phrases like "only in your head" or "just your imagination", which trivializes imagination as something fun (or worrisome) but, for practical purposes, largely without any significant effect on the real world and on our real lives. To begin to understand the true power of imagination and its importance, we must first ask a very simple question: What is imagination? The short answer is: attention , sometimes accompanied by intention .  In...

Am I doing enough? Too much? Am I doing it the right way? Trying too hard? Not hard enough? Am I bothering Irene? Am I too needy? Are my negative thoughts and emotions setting us back? Are they keeping us from going forward? Does she have other things to do? Am I boring her by saying the same thing over and over? Should I meditate more? Wake myself up in the middle of the night? Is that really her when I imagine her? When I feel her? What food, drink, medications or habits should I give up or take up to help? Should I try automatic writing, EVPs? How much effort should I put in them? Does Irene really want to do those things? Should I find a medium? At one point or another, every conceivable doubt and issue has crossed my mind with regards to my transdimensional relationship with Irene. Some were very fleeting, some were more difficult to process. IMO (in my opinion), none of what those doubts and fears refer to had as much impact on our transdimensional relationship than the wo...

In our Zoom Group one of the participants said something that got me to thinking - about how many people say they want contact with their crossed-over loved one, but are unwilling to put in much effort to make it happen. From my own experience, I can say that a problem that I had to wrestle with in going down the path of developing a good transdimensional relationship with Irene was fear of failure. Sometimes I felt like it was just easier to hold on to the pain and live as best I could that way instead of compounding it by trying to develop communication and interaction with her and failing. Every time I reached a new place of reduced grief and sorrow was like a tiny ledge on a sheer rock wall I was attempting to climb, a place I just wanted to set up camp and stay instead of risking it all by trying to go further. That's basic survival instinct - even if a state of existence is painful, if you can at least survive in that state, it's hard to risk it for the unknown. ...

My relationship with Irene has reached a state of such normalcy and connection that I'm not even experiencing "forlorn longing" or sadness with regards to her not being here physically any more.  Every day now I'm very comfortable in my knowledge that she is here with me, that I am talking with her, and what is in store for us going forward.  Just like when she was here physically, I can get to where I need to be with her in more direct contact, and I meditate to get more deeply in tune with our shared consciousness frequency, but that was the norm for both of us here. I can get that with only a few minutes of visualization meditation. There are times when I want a more direct contact from her and I feel her presence more vividly, which causes my heart to race and tears of love and joy come to my eyes.  It is an exquisite, intimate sensation. I can just tell her I need to get a "dose" and she provides it.  When we were together we could just tell each othe...

I was sitting on the porch talking with Irene, and I was thinking about how often I had wish I had already crossed over or lamented the fact that I was still here - not that my life here isn't a good one, it is. I often semi-joke with my spirit team, "I finished the will! Ready to go, any time now!" A realization came over me, though, that Irene and I are on such an exquisite journey right now. Hard, painful, at times sorrowful, made more difficult by fear and doubt - yet, I know how this journey turns out. I know what is waiting for me, and I know it will be all the sweeter, all the more joyous, all the more triumphant because of the difficulty of the path. Sure, I could have died with her - that would have been much easier. And finding ourselves together in the astral at the same time would have been great, but I know for certain it wouldn't have been anything like the experience I see ahead for us - a magnificent, glorious reunion that can only be had through a pai...

A Powerful Intention This morning the first thing I did was an "intention-setting" meditation, which is my usual routine now.  When I do this I am searching for imagery and scenes in my mind that I wish to exist in and which generate an emotional connection and joyful reaction in me.  After sitting down cross-legged on my couch, I did my usual pre-meditation prayer of safety and guidance, immediately getting that familiar buzz which indicates that I'm tuned into "our" frequency. Very quickly after that, a scene popped into my mind of the two of us (Irene and I) sitting on white, wooden  lounge chairs on a deck overlooking the beach and ocean.  Our feet were propped up on the white deck rail and we both had a cup of coffee and we were smoking. We were dressed just like we were at our wedding - we didn't wear formal clothes at our wedding, which was held in our home at the time.  We were laughing about something and had great big smiles on our faces, lookin...

Another really busy family day Sunday so I didn't have the time or energy to blog yesterday, but it was a good day. The key word and idea the past couple of days has been "allowing".  Even when things are going well, I still overthink and try to come up with solutions to problems that don't even exist.  For example, sometimes when I wake up I feel completely ambivalent about praying and meditating, and I immediately characterize it as a problem I need to solve. I consider it a "problem" because I'm worried that feeling ambivalent is the beginning of a trend, that I'm going to lose my connection to Irene and the desire to blog or write anything about this journey or my experiences or thoughts..  It never happens - the ambivalence I feel some days always passes whether I obsess about it or not, but my mind refuses to just let it go. Of course, when I think about how things could be, such as being wracked with grief or having serious health issue...

I had another exhausting day yesterday with family - good, but exhausting.  I get hit with way too many frequencies and basically end up needing to isolate myself, but at least now it's back to the usual impact and I don't have to constantly worry about crashing or having emotional "attacks" during such events. Today has been very interesting.  I lay down a couple of times for astral projection attempts while falling asleep and began trying to focus on the semi-dream imagery that would begin to play out as I was drifting off.  It was hard to remember what was going on in those scenarios when I would pull myself awake.  The second time I lay down to do this there were a couple of things that stood out - one was when someone in my field of view said "Let me give you this" and walked over to  hand me something. It looked like a small square piece of plastic in their palm.  Another time someone asked very clearly "Why do we doubt?"  Putting it in ...

Finished the day of well yesterday, woke up in kind of neutral state, skipped the morning session because I just didn’t feel it, recited my new “us” prayer and mantra phrases while walking the dogs and immediately felt more connected and happy.  Did my exercises, sat down to work feeling positive and happy and connected to Irene. While working I’ve been talking to Irene and repeating my new mantras, and I’ve been experiencing this ecstatic joy and happiness and total connection to her for a long time.  It feels insanely good, bringing tears to my eyes and laughter – it’s like I cannot even contain it. It's crazy how good I can feel spontaneously just doing normal things. It turned into one of those amazingly good, indescribable experiences.   Later in the day I felt some fear and doubt creep in, so I sat down in the new pose (facing where Irene used to sit)  and when I did saw a cardinal at the feeder in the window in front of me.  I did abou...

I woke up feeling better, started feeling worse, said the heck with it and. went back to sleep.  Sometimes the only reasonable response to irrational heartache is sleep. If you can. I've been very lucky in this respect. Got to feeling worse and worse, full of confusion, didn’t even do a morning routine because I was so confused about it and felt so bad and unmotivated.  Sat down around noon and prayed the usual, then started meditating and the realization came to me that I was just making it all too hard.  I didn’t want to do my old formal Sant Mat meditation and I didn’t want to listen to any of the things people wrote in books about what I should or shouldn’t do that didn't make sense to me.  It's too confusing. I focused directly on Irene and on words that applied to her – love, joy, feeling whole and complete, connection, soul mate, delight, happiness – and then she was with me, I could feel it all, her sitting cross-legged in front of me, holding my extend...