Love After Life

For the past month or so I've been experimenting with the concept that psychology (including the conscious, subconscious and unconscious) = experience of reality (perceptual, sensory, cognitive, emotional, reacitive). IOW, I've let go of the ideas that there are spiritual levels, different dimensions (that coming from the guy that basically coined the term "transdimensional relationship"), different energies & frequencies, planes of existence, etc., and have proceeded from t he perspective that all of existence is right here, right now, and that it is my own psychology that determines what I perceive and experience of that infinite potential. I'm not saying those other models are not valuable and effective, so please keep that in mind. I've also started writing about how this has affected my interaction with Irene, but frankly I'm just not sure it can be effectively translated due to the limitations of language and the conceptual baggage certain term...

Please excuse the authoritarian style of writing.  When this stuff comes to me via channeling, I can either spend days trying to rephrase everything in editing or just offer the caveat: accept what resonates, ignore the rest. For most people, when they think of "imagination" they think of creating thoughts or imagery that is confined to being "in their head" - completely personal and unconnected to anything external, private thoughts that only exist in the confines of their physical brain. Thus, we have phrases like "only in your head" or "just your imagination", which trivializes imagination as something fun (or worrisome) but, for practical purposes, largely without any significant effect on the real world and on our real lives. To begin to understand the true power of imagination and its importance, we must first ask a very simple question: What is imagination? The short answer is: attention , sometimes accompanied by intention .  In...

The amazing meditation I had on the 16th crystallized something I've been thinking about writing for a while, giving me a surge of motivation and excitement about it. So, I started it that night and I woke up excited to continue the next morning. I envision it as a book of short stories about me and Irene together in the afterlife in the future. Writing these stories is my way of deeply connecting to Irene via visualization. While writing, it became very clear, very fast, that writing the first story was simultaneously producing one of the most compelling visualizations I've experienced. (Well,DUH! You kind of have to visualize scenes you're writing about!) The emotional connection and sensations were so strong I had to take several breaks just to calm down and savor the incredibly wonderful feelings. At one point I thought I would either pass out or leave my body. The title is: " The Afterlife Adventures of Bill and Irene. " I'm writing it on Google Docs ...

Yesterday I think the atmosphere and temp made for a kind of "bleah" day, which is still SO MUCH BETTER than other days I've had.  I've always said that a boring day is a good day!  Still, I managed to get everything on my daily checklist done even though I felt totally lethargic and mentally unmotivated: prayer, meditation, yoga, exercise.  The only think I didn't do was get the finished, edited book posted up, and that was the one thing I just did not want to do yesterday. I've been adding links to blog posts to different sections of the book to give some understanding of what I'm talking about in those sections, and to provide the context of what I was actually going through at the time.  In doing so, I've found something that is very pertinent to the section in the book called "Write It Down".  Actually, I've found this out again: I forget things that have happened, even important things like confirmations. Here lately I've b...

There's an emotion I feel often which I refer to as the sensation of coming into frequency contact with Irene.  It began many months ago, if you go back and read the blog, as a panic-attack like feeling in my upper chest and throat, but it wasn't entirely a bad feeling - I immediately thought it felt like Irene was close and it was affecting me negatively because of my grief and sorrow.  As time has progressed, that sensation has slowly changed, no longer triggering my grief or intense feelings of loss or self-pity.  I've thought about how to try to describe it, and I'm going to give it a shot here. Most of the sensation is a powerful sense of appreciation borne of loss of that which I value most. It is not just "appreciation", which is a great feeling in itself, but it is a form of appreciation that is very deep and meaningful, an appreciation you can only have after losing that which you love the most.  It is only then that you can know how much that which...

I've had a couple more of those strong connection sensations today.  It is so sweet and transcendent - an emotion or sensation there is no word for.  I remember getting this sensation before and it was very confusing because it caused some sorrow at the same time, I remember writing here that I felt it was because it was Irene and her presence generated the sorrow of missing her. Now, this sensory, vibrational quality of her presence "touching" me, or going through me, isn't bringing up any sadness, just this very unique and comforting feeling that affects me throughout. I posted the rough draft of the book on the blog today so that people who come here looking for relief from their grief will at least be able to read how it happened for me. As I read back through the book, and in doing so referred back to some prior posts, I find so utterly unbelievable that I can really, actually feel this way.  It's like our relationship never stopped being this good - as...

I remember when I was about five or six, before I was even in grade school, I could tap into what felt to me at the time was a particular sensation and time would seem to slow down.  I remember playing kick ball and dodge ball, I could - even then - "tune in" to this sensation and everything would be moving as if in slow motion to me and nobody could hit me with the ball because I could easily dodge it while I was in that different sense of the passing of time. I also remember after I started going to school we were having timed races to see who could run the fastest from one point to the other.  It might have been ten or twenty yards.  Somehow I knew I was able to tune in, right then, to some kind of sensation that had to do with running fast.  As the race started I clicked in to a strange running mode and I felt like the flash or something - it was surreal.  About halfway through the run I was going faster than I had the coordination to manage and I tripped,...

Yesterday afternoon and evening, for whatever reason, was a time I basically just had to distract myself from.  I don't know if it was the weather, other people's vibes, something I ate, time of year or what, but my mind was frazzled and my meditations felt superficial.  So, I just watched TV, did what work I could, then went to bed. This morning I woke up in a rather bad mood and wasn't being at all friendly to my spirit team.  I suppose I was a little frustrated, even though they reminded me that others, such as those suffering from Hurricane Harvey, have it much, much worse.  I knew I was being a bit of a self-centered pill but I really had not answer for it. Then I noticed Pico,  one of my Pekingese, sitting on the floor in front of me, just staring up at the pictures I have of Irene on her "shrine", with this lost and sad look on his face.  That just broke my heart.  I got up and got a set of pictures I had printed on a foamcore board at set i...

Last night I started getting sad so I went outside and sat on the swing and talked to Irene.  At first I thought that I was missing her - natural enough, nothing to be overly concerned about.  This was sticking longer so I started examining the sensation and realized I wasn't missing the Irene that had passed away, or even the Irene that I had been with for 27 years.  I wasn't even missing Irene , per se. I was actually longing for us , but not any version of us that ever existed in this world.  Oh, believe me, we had our moments - many of them.  Some of our "moments" lasted a long time and many were very, very special - well worth remembering and even revisiting/reliving if we get the chance. Long conversations, long drives, humor, intimacy, passion. The thing is, though, that even though we are soul mates, there wasn't a time that we were together in this world that we were not heavily laden with issues, responsibilities and burdens, internal and external....

During the day I talk with irene all the time.  It's not continuous - I do work and focus on that when I am working, and I do sleep and do other things that require my attention. Occasionally I talk "to" Irene, but now I mostly talk with her and allow myself to "imagine" her responses (as per my post a few days ago about Irene and irene) and her with me. This gives me such a great sensation.  I feel like she is close and has her attention on me when I do this, as I have my attention on her.  When I walk the dogs or do dishes I love to have conversations with her.  We talk about the children, grandchildren and our great-grandchild; how we are doing as far as getting through all this; what we plan on doing in the afterlife; what I'm doing here with whatever time I have left; we talk about our lives here and things that we went through.    During these conversations (which, on my end, I speak out loud), we often have a banter that makes me laugh out lo...

Memory is also a great example of the tuning process I was talking about yesterday. Usually you can tune in with a simple intention, but sometimes it takes a while to find the memory you want.  Do you have any idea how you are sorting through neurons and brain cell pathways to "find" the memory - if, indeed, the brain is even where they are stored? No, you just focus, the best you can, on what memory you want.  When you don't know what the memory is, you're focusing on something else - like a sensation in your mind. This goes back to the exercise in the video I wrote about here that set this whole chain of events in motion, where he said to stare at your finger before you bend it at try to notice the sensation of "intending". I know exactly what that sensation is - I have it when I'm thinking about "what I should do" or write or draw or how to contact Irene; I can feel myself attempting to tune into a frequency where those things or the path ...

Another good morning ... feeling great, good prayer and mediation.  I've been affirming that it's okay to feel good, that it's good for both of us and our connection.  Finished up stage three of the self-guided exercises from AREI website and filled out their journal. Later in the evening, after walking the dogs, I started feeling something different - not quite sure what it is.  I think I may be feeling Irene's presence without the heart clutch sensation.  It's very subtle, like a change in the atmosphere for the better, very difficult to quantify.  Thinking about it, I haven't felt the heart clutch today.  My happiness seems fuller somehow. More tomorrow, dead tired right now.

Woke up feeling great! Feel totally connected and in love with Irene and very, very confidant about what we’re doing.  Had a great session this morning. During the day my feelings moved towards “normal”, which was fine.  I noticed it has been difficult getting wifi on my Ipad lately.  I was in the living room to meditate but had started trying to get on the internet instead when it just wouldn’t connect. It seemed that something was telling me to go on and meditate. I had a very interesting experience while meditating. The sensation of “accomplishing something” has been increasing with my new combination of intense personal connection affirmations with Irene, manifesting myself in the spirit world with Irene affirmation, and my use of the terms “we are focused, we are strong, we have the energy of God in us, we are deeply, intimately connected” etc., after about 30 minutes I am so deep and so comfortable and feeling so good I feel like I could stay there for days...