Love After Life

The past several days I've been helping  Gerra out in Austin after she gave birth to my new granddaughter, Kyra Irene and I just got back yesterday.  I'm still working my way back into my normal routine. What I've found so heartening, though, was my capacity to emotionally and psychologically weather a six-day upheaval of my routine, including sleep and meditation patterns.  Arriving back home was a very welcome event, but I never came close to having a serious emotional downswing.  Even the physical part wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, with all the driving around, lack of sleep, and the physical exertions that were out of my ordinary pattern. In fact, I enjoyed myself immensely, and never felt as though I was losing contact with Irene or losing my way as far as our goals and direction.  I felt very confident that everything was fine and that things were going as they should.  Gerra has nice back yard spot to spend quiet time and I used that...

The past couple of days have been pretty hectic.  I went down to Gerra's in Austin to help her out while she gave birth to my 13th (I think? Losing count!) grandchild, Kyra Irene Murray, named after Irene.  Pico and Marley (my two Pekingese) and I headed down there Wednesday and she was born at 11:23 pm.  We've been bunked up at Gerra's and doing whatever we can to make her life a little easier right now. We had several signs from Irene Weduesday.  Gerra asked for some signs and when she turned on the television one of the teams on Family Feud was named "Howell", which is Irene's maiden name.  Then on another show there was the name "Kyra" all lit up and blinged out.  Her friend Amy, who was there the whole time, said she had been talking to Irene a lot and was relying on her help about when to drive to Austin and what to do and when. For myself, I've been utterly amazed at how well things have gone as far as getting around in Austin, fin...

I'm still a little off-frequency today, but doing better.  (Frequency constipated?  Get new astral-tone, the app that puts you back in focus!) I actually experienced about five minutes of sadness yesterday - I think it was more of a pity-party than anything else. You know your spirit team really, really loves it when you start throwing pity-parties.  I can just see the eyes rolling. Really? Five minutes of sadness? Good grief! How good does this guy have to have it? I kept reminding myself that to not try and figure out a solution, but rather just trust the process.  I remembered a dream again this morning, so my dream-remembering initiative is really going well.  Something I noticed about my dreams is that I don't have a lot of tactile sensation, it's mostly sight and sound. There was an interesting conversation that developed off of one of my posts about the validating process; essentially it was about where we draw the line between "what is real" and ...

Sunday I got to meet several people associated with AREI and in that Facebook group in an international video conference.  What a surreal experience. I'm still trying to re-orient myself after that and another busy weekend with the family.  I'm going to be learning how to be a facilitator for such groups in the future.  Right now they are regularly scheduled for early Sunday mornings my time.  It's really interesting to have conversations with completely sincere people about things like mediumship, the afterlife, NDEs and OOBEs ... it normalizes a whole set of concepts and experiences in a way that's difficult to achieve without that kind of group-based psychological and emotional support. This morning I had a dream of Irene. It was only a few moments, but I did get to hear her voice and see her pretty clearly.  She looked to be 35-40.  I was so happy when I woke up!  It seems that adding the HE practice to my daily process, and establishing that fir...

So this morning I did a whole post on validating signs, and then this just happened. I had a dream last night - here is the entry from my dream journal:  I was looking through my old wallets and checkbook covers for photos of Irene or of the family with Irene in it. At some point I was trying to get some fans to act right. There were a couple of fans right next to each other that were “discordant”? They were playing discordant music because they were not set to the same speed. I set one fan to medium, which seemed to be the same speed as the other fan, and then the music they were playing was the same and they actually produced more wind, even though I had turned the one down from high to medium. [is this saying I should set my fan speed down from high to medium when I do EVPs?] Later I logged into the Afterlife Topics group and Kristine Ann Palma has a new post in there where she links to a great EVP she recorded of the man she loves on the other side, Josh. In that po...

Here's my two cents worth on the subject of whether or not something is a sign from our loved ones. If you experience something that makes you think it might be a sign from a loved one letting you know they are with you and love you, instead of letting fear (of being wrong) and doubt trouble you, simply make a decision one way or another, but do so in a way that makes either decision help you out in your desire for better contact and communication with the other side. Anything anyone experiences with regard to afterlife communication and contact could have other explanations, even if highly implausible. Afterlife entities usually work through some sort of physical medium in this world - sounds that already exist, animals, light, etc. and arrange or manipulate those things to make contact.  Often it is nothing more than what could be a very unlikely coincidence or string of coincidences. The point here is that most of us are not scientists or attempting to scientifically and obj...

I had a full day's worth of stuff to do today. Took the dogs to the groomer and went into town to run some errands, plus I had plenty of regular work to do. Still, I kept on track with my goal and my meditations were fantastic. When I felt that fatigued buzz in the afternoon, I lay down and recorded one HE (hypnagogic experience) after another. It was crazy - I couldn't even keep up. I missed a couple but got quite a few, one with Irene that made me very happy. It seemed like about 15 minutes had passed and it never felt like I had fallen asleep, but when I got up it was an hour later and I was completely refreshed. Here's a copy-paste from a couple of days of my HE log: HYPNAGOGIC EXPERIENCES 10-19-2017 #1: Somebody was cleaning something on the floor, which I thought was the recording device I was using. #2: Girl dressed in a black and grey costume, like batgirl, got on a motorcycle. #3: Me, the Girl from #2, and someone else are going somewhere. I look like...

My second meditation yesterday was focused on simply allowing, accepting and receiving whatever information - or no information - came my way during that time.  I try to keep my mind relatively clear and not intend or deliberately imagine.  At one point an HE (hypnagogic experience) played out where Irene and I were laying on what was like a clear ground of glass and looking down at me as I did something in an office somewhere - it looked like I was in a police station of some sort looking for someone who worked there. As the day went on I felt very confident and realized that I had made the decision to become even more fully committed to our adventure - the adventure of me trying to have a more complete experience with her.  Not because I needed it due to sorrow or grief, but rather because I have discovered it is my "calling" - I find joy, excitement and enthusiasm in this pursuit. It makes me both want to get out of bed in the morning and go to bed at night. While ...

I set out this morning to better organize my process - yes, even though I've talked before about not setting up a rigid schedule that could lead to frustration and guilt, I feel like I've gone beyond feeling those things due to not adhering to a schedule or due to unmet expectations of myself.  If I cannot meditate at times or things don't progress as fast as I want, I get over that fast enough, but there is a process by which that occurs and I really need to try to adhere to it as much as possible. First, when I get up in the morning, it's important that I start empowering and invoking our home frequency right off the bat, no matter how I feel when I get up.  If I feel ambivalent, I need to soldier through it and do my greetings, feel appreciation, ask for help, say my prayers and do my intention-setting meditation.  I can't let feelings and emotions of unwanted frequencies set the tone for my day and guide my decisions about what to do; it's up to me to cont...

The past two days have brought it to my attention that even when I don't feel like it - actually, especially when I don't feel like it - I need to meditate and pray.  I know this sounds like I'm reversing my views from yesterday (probably not the first time I've done that on this blog), but it's more like a refinement. When I try to work out solutions to my feeling "off", the solution is really always the same thing: regaining the frequency I desire.  I exist as a happy, fulfilled and motivated person in what I call our "home frequency", where Irene and I have our best and easiest interactions.  So, when I wake up and feel ambivalent, especially after a day of being bombarded with the frequencies of other people, the best course of action is to pray and meditate to start bringing myself back to home frequency. Tuning into that frequency is my job; that's what I'm supposed to be doing.  That's actually what individual existence...

Another really busy family day Sunday so I didn't have the time or energy to blog yesterday, but it was a good day. The key word and idea the past couple of days has been "allowing".  Even when things are going well, I still overthink and try to come up with solutions to problems that don't even exist.  For example, sometimes when I wake up I feel completely ambivalent about praying and meditating, and I immediately characterize it as a problem I need to solve. I consider it a "problem" because I'm worried that feeling ambivalent is the beginning of a trend, that I'm going to lose my connection to Irene and the desire to blog or write anything about this journey or my experiences or thoughts..  It never happens - the ambivalence I feel some days always passes whether I obsess about it or not, but my mind refuses to just let it go. Of course, when I think about how things could be, such as being wracked with grief or having serious health issue...

Yesterday's EVP recording had a weird anomaly on it - it sounded like it could be a voice, but I couldn't make it out.  That's one of those things I'm not going to read too much into - if I can get a clear voice, great, but I'm not going to strain to make anything out.  I'll let those on the other side figure out how to get a more clear voice onto the recordings if they wish.  I'm going to continue recording. It was very hot again yesterday; even though I slept late I got sleep in the late afternoon and decided to lay down and try a "drifting off" astral projection attempt.  It actually went very well as I remained aware during several "dream" sequences. At one point I found myself looking into the black screen of my iPad and seeing my reflection - I looked like I was about 25.  I was aware at the time and asked myself if I was astral projecting because it seemed pretty real, but I quickly left that state. I find it relatively easy ...

Last night I asked for help in astral projection and to have dreams I could remember and would be helpful in that attempt and the continued strengthening of the connection between me and Irene, and also to open me up to more help from my spirit team. Waking up about 3:30 a.m. or so, I stayed up a little bit deciding what to do. I had read that it's best to attempt astral projection after you wake up but before your body and mind has time to go into full wakefulness mode. So I lay back down to try to get into the "drifting off" state they described but not to actually fall asleep.  That was relatively easy since I had two cups of decaf before going to bed and I kept having to use the bathroom! Irene was in one of the dreams; someone was helping me look through a book of images and there was one with Irene, and as I looked it turned into a video of her walking through what looked like a mall with my brother, his wife and my sister. I was looking at the scene from high a...

By the time "trouble hour" rolled around yesterday (6:00 pm), I was having a comparatively down day.  I had so much going on in my head and it was like mush, and I had little mini-pity parties on and off.  I just made sure to do my regular things and, as I wrote yesterday, cleared out all the mental stuff, asked for some help from the spirit team, and let go of trying to figure things out and trust the process. I was hoping for a dream last night. I did in fact have some dreams I remember.  While they were not spectacular, they did seem to help my attitude out, because shortly after I woke up and had some coffee, I understood that I had been pressing too much.  It's a bad habit I have that goes along with thinking too much. This goes along with what I'm here to learn - to have faith and trust.  Like Irene told me some time ago, I do plenty as far as intention, affirmation, work, etc.  After that I just need to let go and let God, the universe, her and...

That information from yesterday and the atmosphere doing tricks here has me out of sorts.  I feel like my frequency is just a bit off.  Maybe things are sorting themselves out.  I don't really even like to think about that information because it just bogs my head down with trying to organize what it al means. Today I focused on more simple lines of thought - like trust the process.  Meditate, pray, intend, affirm, do things that need to be done, let god and the universe and my soul team take care of everything else.  My job is to focus on what I want, do what that intention brings me to do, and don't get in the way or sabotage the process.  Sometimes the best thing to do is just concentrate on the basics and your job and let everything else sort itself out. That in itself can be a difficult task.  Some days just need to be gotten through without beating myself up as if there was more I could do.  Time to read my reminders and find new pins...

Today the atmospherics completely changed, including a thirty-degree drop in the temperature.  Everything felt different. After prayer and an EVP recording this morning, I sat for meditation and Irene asked me where I'd like to have interaction with her, now that I know they are are completely real locations.  We settled on the big padded bench swing that sits overlooking the ocean and the horizon at the top of the path that leads down to the beach from our astral home. As we settled into our "spoon" position looking out at the view, she turned around facing me and said, "You do understand this is real, right?  You are actually here right now, even though it doesn't feel like that to you yet."  "I'm actually here, right now, with you." I repeated in agreement.  I could see her in my mind very clearly, feel her. It was still an envisioning, but suddenly this enormous swell of emotion just climbed from my heart up to my head bringing a...

During a great meditation this morning irene and I were talking about the way I always try to frame things into "conceptual frameworks" so I can understand things better intellectually.  I had been reading some comments in the afterlife groups about the difficulties in interacting with loved ones who have crossed over and also about our "multidimensional" nature. Our "multidimensional nature" has always been a thorny subject with me.  If this is some "small part" of my consciousness, it pisses me off to think that some other or "higher" aspect of my consciousness is enjoying interacting with Irene while this part of my consciousness  is stuck here using imagination, visualization and meditation to have contact with her, having occasional and minor doubts that even these experiences are "true". So we come back to what someone said in my "drifting off" state yesterday. "Why do we doubt?" Irene kept ma...

I had another exhausting day yesterday with family - good, but exhausting.  I get hit with way too many frequencies and basically end up needing to isolate myself, but at least now it's back to the usual impact and I don't have to constantly worry about crashing or having emotional "attacks" during such events. Today has been very interesting.  I lay down a couple of times for astral projection attempts while falling asleep and began trying to focus on the semi-dream imagery that would begin to play out as I was drifting off.  It was hard to remember what was going on in those scenarios when I would pull myself awake.  The second time I lay down to do this there were a couple of things that stood out - one was when someone in my field of view said "Let me give you this" and walked over to  hand me something. It looked like a small square piece of plastic in their palm.  Another time someone asked very clearly "Why do we doubt?"  Putting it in ...

What a day I had yesterday.  So sorry I wasn't able to post, but I by the time I got home I was really too drained to do anything with my brain other than eat, walk the dogs and go to sleep early. We had a meeting with an attorney over some of the issues that came crashing into our lives earlier this week and that took longer than expected.  I can't get into any of it here, but let's just say it's something that would ordinarily be very, very stressful, even though it didn't directly involve me.  I never really felt stressed, although my mind was more on those issues than anything else, and I kept having to refocus on our happy frequency again and again.  It did keep me feeling centered and really rather removed from the situation. Also, driving tends to wear me out and I ran other errands in town, so I'm sure that contributed to the draining fatigue I felt yesterday evening. Other than that, though, I felt great mentally and emotionally - I didn't crash...

I've had a couple more of those strong connection sensations today.  It is so sweet and transcendent - an emotion or sensation there is no word for.  I remember getting this sensation before and it was very confusing because it caused some sorrow at the same time, I remember writing here that I felt it was because it was Irene and her presence generated the sorrow of missing her. Now, this sensory, vibrational quality of her presence "touching" me, or going through me, isn't bringing up any sadness, just this very unique and comforting feeling that affects me throughout. I posted the rough draft of the book on the blog today so that people who come here looking for relief from their grief will at least be able to read how it happened for me. As I read back through the book, and in doing so referred back to some prior posts, I find so utterly unbelievable that I can really, actually feel this way.  It's like our relationship never stopped being this good - as...

There are mornings, like today, I wake up and I don't feel good or bad, I just feel completely ambivalent. I really think it has a lot to do with the physical atmosphere. It's heavy again here with a lot of humidity after a lot of rain last night. A couple of hours after I got up, though, I felt Irene just sort of vibe into me. It felt so good and immediately changed my frequency back into our zone. It didn't have hardly any of the associated sadness that contact with her used to bring, although it did carry with it a unique emotional content I've talked about before; it's really good, it's just not like anything else, so it's hard to put any label on. Meditation was excellent although the universe kept interrupting me for whatever reason.  I still have the family issues that cropped came barreling through like a freight train, but we're working on those and can at least see a way forward.  I'm really not very good at adapting to certain situatio...

Last night and today were very challenging.  There were some pretty serious events that occurred with a couple of our children that were very negative and - for all of us - very disheartening.  It's times like this that you realize just how crappy the world and the people in it can be, and how good people often end up in bad or troubling situations through no real fault of their own.  It's so easy to lose faith and trust when certain things go on. I did find out, however, that I have much more emotional investment in our children than I thought - which is a good thing.  It's one of the things I had hoped I could cultivate, something I think I came here to learn or let myself experience.  I had to work to keep tuned in to Irene's and my home frequency at times; at other times I felt Irene blend into me and just relieve my unsettled feeling.  Some very odd things happened that made it feel as if it was all part of the plan.  I woke up on my own at...

So far today my time with Irene has been excellent, our interactions gaining an atmospheric quality that feels more authentic.  While laying down for a rest and visualizing this morning, other people - children - were with us outside at our island home. I didn't recognize them, there were at least two of them.  I wasn't asleep, but I was in that semi-conscious state where dream-like scenarios play out briefly.  Usually when that happens, though, it seems to be in random locations with random things going on until I catch my wandering mind and put it back on track. During a later meditation when I visualized us we were in that same location. Irene usually appears in a colorful swimsuit lately (and no, I didn't direct that to be the case, it just started happening), but this time she was dressed more elaborately.  It was something like a fantasy version of an Arabian princess.  I didn't deliberately do that, either, but I did remember us talking before - I don'...

I finished the first draft of my book, Transdimensional Love and I'm preparing it for a round of proofreading, editing and criticism.  It shouldn't be much longer before it is ready to be posted here since it is very concise and gets right to the process I used to overcome grief and reclaim my happy, satisfying relationship with Irene. Today was pretty much an all-kids day so there wasn't much time to meditate or work, and my routine was thrown way off without any naps, but even around my danger hour of 6:00 pm I was pretty much okay.  That's about when I able to meditate for the second time, the first one coming early this morning.  All in all I feel pretty good and I know Irene is happy about my spending the day with the kids.  I am looking forward to another astral projection attempt as I fall asleep here in a bit; that half-conscious state is becoming a good source of feeling connected. The main focus for me now is focusing on the positive empowerment of our...